Here

There are two ways I can respond in the event of catastrophic personal tragedy. I can dive into the things of God, or I can seek reprieve in the comforts of this world, in some way, shape, or form. I have tasted the power of both of these methods. I know a great deal about what each one has to offer. The first is a prelude to an eternal state, the likes of which we are incapable of really being able to understand in our present condition. The second, while providing more immediate means of satiety with regards to the temporal senses, also possesses an innate quality of inevitable dissipation and degradation. By investing myself in this world (which is passing away) I would invest in the dismantling of everything I even am, as a sentient being.

Included in the category of ‘this world’ are any and every means of engaging in spiritual pursuit which are not done with respect to the true nature of reality — that is, which are done by human invention. It is tempting for the natural man to ascribe all such pursuits to said invention, because doing so placates the conscience, but there is only one actual Way to destroy enmity between the spirit and the flesh, and it is not something that a person can do. It is only something they can accept, and cooperate with.

This will sound confusing to someone not acquainted with the inner workings of the situation, but it is simply the truth, in the same way that an elephant is simply an elephant, or that two and two equals four. It can be denied, but one must sacrifice their own sanity on the altar of this denial in order for it to become real. And even then, it is only real to them.

Back to the point, though; I will choose to invest myself in reality. My time spent living in a fantasy world is over now, and good riddance. All it ever did was destroy me slowly, and all I ever got was this stupid T-shirt. Just kidding. There actually isn’t even a shirt. There’s nothing. In the end, you get nothing from that fantasy. Nothing but pain.

And so I turn back inward now, to the Christ in me, the hope of glory, my Rock and my defense; my deliverance and my peace. I never knew a more perfect song than the one He sings over me now. I’ve never felt a more intimate touch than that with which He embraces me, here when we are alone in the secret place, tucked away between time and the physical world, hidden away in a place which cannot be described in human words. Here we are, and here I will stay, no matter what else.

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